More magical fun than you can handle

As the applications deadlines loom, college recruiters get a little loopy. They want to get as many students to choose from as possible, and that means emailing every possible students five times a day until the fateful deadline day passes. All this pressure has to be getting to them, since their emails have gotten odder. This says nothing about the schools, which are all very reputable and educational I'm sure, Cabin Fever can affect anyone.

Consider this subject line from Mills College in Oakland, California: "The Magic Runs Out At Midnight"

The Mills application is due at midnight, which explains part of the title. The rest of the subject was obviously inspired of the mystical magical semester of Senior year where any free time is spent blissfully writing essays, typing up majestic community service activity sheets, and filling out the same personal information again and again. If only I could be there once again. Too bad the magic runs out at midnight. At least I had it while it lasted.

St. Olaf's most recent email gave me a glimpse of what people think is "fun" in their hallowed halls. "Meanwhile, for a little fun…As inspiration to push you through to the final “submit,” play our fight song and imagine yourself being cheered on as an Ole (or at least envision explaining to your friends how your college fight song is a waltz). Or how about some serious fun? Become a fan of St. Olaf on Facebook and get your questions answered while you finish up your application."

What's that Liz? You want to hang out Thursday? Well, I would except I've kinda got the St. Olaf fight song cued up for the next three hours. It's just so peppy.

Sorry Steve, I can't go out with you this weekend. I'm joining a St. Olaf group on Facebook! Pressing that join button is more fun than the movies, and they have helpful-slash-informative answers to all my questions about my application.

I don't know, maybe I'm just not cut out for the excitement of life at Olaf.

Omg Early response Lol*

The following is a real quote from a University of Michigan email: "I wish UM had early response when I applied. There could be no better holiday gift to give a parent than to tell them you're going to be a Wolverine."

My parents will be so proud of me, fighting the commies, taking back the streets. Oh, what's that you say? Not those Wolverines? Dang, if they're not talking about Red Dawn, what's so exciting about wolverines?

For those of you who haven't had to apply to college in the last couple of years, Early Admissions, or Early Response, is a system where a students choose to turn in their applications in at an earlier date, get a response back more quickly, and are locked into that college. It's an option at many, possibly most, colleges. It's not that exciting.

There could be no better nondescript holiday gift to give a parent than to tell them that they're going to have to pay tuition to go to a college that whose alumni include Bill Ayers and the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog.

*For the entirely internet illiterate this entry's title should be read: Oh my gosh, early response, laughing out loud. Also, if you're that non-internet savvy, how in the world are you reading a blog?

They're coming

The University of Chicago has a zombie readiness task force. Which is awesome. That is all.

College pamplets: Where Logic Goes to Die

The town I live in has a heavy agricultural background. The FFA fair is the biggest event of the year. Half the kids at my high school own goats, pigs, or cows. I have a few chickens of my own in the backyard, yet I was stunned by just how hickish Grinnell college's booklet was.

Grinnell College is located in the middle of Iowa, and they aren't ashamed. Every page displays a picture of a cow, some corn, or a farm. One page even features a collage version of American

Gothic.

Stylistically, some of the elements are very cool. The pages of the books are all fold out flaps, which, because I'm more easily fascinated than a six year old, kept me amused for way too long. The book itself looks good as well, but it's not put together perfectly.

At times, the page's picture has nothing to do with Grinnell or the page's topic. The page on financial aid proclaims "we are in search of those in search of wonder and knowledge. Students of life, lovers of learning, collaborators, and creators. People who want a profound liberal arts education." The statement does do a good job emphasising that they want students interested in education, and will help worthy students make it there. The picture is of a little boy eating corn. What? Forget that the lines aren't complete sentences (and really, should anyone go to a school where they can't even put together a proper sentence?), the little boy eating an ear of corn has nothing to do with financial aid.

Another page proclaims "Next door has an entirely different meaning here" and goes on to talk about their study abroad program. The picture is a cow with a saddle on its back. There's almost a connection there, but I can't quite figure out what it is. It's one of those "so close and yet so far" things that perplexes and annoys instead of...well, whatever it is a picture of a saddle on a cow is supposed to do.

My favorite page of all though, is a strange one. It has a picture of a woman swimming in a clear pool filled with gigantic beans. It's accompanied by the quote "Amber waves of grain, soybean seas of grain, one swimming championship after another." Once again, what? The inside flap features the headline "everyone plays." For someone like me, whose sports career ended after kindergarten softball-tee ball, this is just the tiniest bit intimidating. Less intimidating, soybeans.

Grinnell college is not ashamed to let their hick flag fly. It's also not afraid to defy logic and grammar. So, if you want to go to a school where ten year olds stand around eating corn, and girls swim with giant soybeans, that might be the place for you.