The letter was not addressed to me, but as every kid knows come report card time, a letter addressed to "the parents of so-and-so" really means "hey kid, this letter is for you, open it right now." Okay, maybe that's not really what it means, but it might as well.
The letter was written by Diane Anci, Mount Holyoke's Dean of Admission. My suspicions, based on absolutely zero research, is that Ms. Anci spent many years in a cramped little admissions room for months on end reading essays about "How racquetball changed my life," and went a little eccentric. The only way she could get out all this nervous energy is through writing odd pieces. I would know, I do this in Civics every day.
The first paragraph of the letter is promising, it describes how hectic things must be in our lives, getting a child ready to go to college. This picture might apply to a one child family where the parent's only goal is to get their kid into a good school so they can have something to put in their Christmas letter, but in my house, my college search is not the center of our world. This kid-centric tone continued throughout the letter.
The college process is "beginning of letting go," so your daughter can live"the star spangled promise of her life," by becoming one of Mount Holyoke's "brilliant ambitious students." "You can start to let your daughter go," the letter concludes, "and watch her fly." Some might find this brilliantly touching, but I see a Dean going a little potty, and sending out supposedly sentimental notes.
At other points in the note, Anci uses enough literary devices to make the most greedy English teacher beg for mercy. Metaphor: "There's never been a more important time for young people to flex the muscles of the brain." Alliteration: "Cultivating a campus" "finances of college loom large, " and a disconnect from normal language--a little known device but an extremely common one--"Of course, we're not cavalier about practicality." Yes, because obviously if you use words that no one uses in conversation, you must mean business.
The letter also cannot stop fawning about Mt. Holyoke. Of course, this doesn't actually mean they use evidence to back up their information, just pretty pretty words. "This means cultivating a campus full of curious and motivated thinkers: our brilliant, ambitious students of course, as well as accomplished faculty that wins prestigious awards...add to this our world class facilities, rigorous and innovated curriculum, and notably diverse community." That sounds great, but it doesn't really mean anything.
Most college kids are curious. Many are curious about how drunk they can get before they become best friends with the toilet. Ambitious could mean that a student trying to become a level 40 orc during history class. The professors could have won "Hottest prof over 40" for all we know, and diverse could mean that they have upper class white kids and middle class white kids. I doubt that a good school like Mt. Holyoke, this is what any of that means, but vague self praise is confusing and boasty.
I also do not doubt Diane Anci's abilities as a dean since I'm sure she does a good job, but I think the school should let her out once in awhile. It might do her good.
